Golf Fans, Time to Pull Out Your Remote Controls

Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune takes a dim view of the made-for-TV golf match between Tiger Woods and David Duval on Aug. 2 at Sherwood Country Club:

“What nature--that is to say, tournament competition--won’t provide, ABC-TV will, a head-to-head showdown between the two most appealing golfers since . . . uh, Corey Pavin and Curtis Strange?

“This is not exactly Holyfield-Tyson here, or even that Michael Johnson-Donovan Bailey footrace, concocted to discover the World’s Fastest Human.

“Remember that NBA all-star wallow during the lockout? Made for TV is like saying Made for Suckers.�

Trivia time: Who holds the NBA playoff record for most free throws made in a game without a miss?

Weak excuse? In his new book, “The Majors,� John Feinstein says of the split between agent Hughes Norton and Woods:

“Earl [Woods, Tiger’s father] decided Tiger had been over-scheduled, which was a little bit like Bill Clinton claiming it was his lawyer’s fault that he was oversexed.�

Futility franchise: Only seven Rams remain on the St. Louis roster from the team that moved from Los Angeles in 1995. Defensive end Kevin Carter explains why:

“Sometimes you say, ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it,’ but if it’s been broken for a long time, you gotta try something else.�

The Rams haven’t had a winning record since 1989.

With tires too: From David Letterman: “In Baltimore, the Cuban national team defeated the Baltimore Orioles, 12-6, playing baseball. Castro was so thrilled about the victory that he gave the winning pitcher for the Cuban team a brand new 1954 Oldsmobile.�

The legend: Art Spander of the Oakland Tribune recalls that the late Gene Sarazen once tried to get out of hitting the traditional starting shot in the Masters.

But Hord Hardin, then Masters chairman, told him: “Gene, they don’t want to see you play. They just want to see if you’re alive.�

FYI: Charles Barkley, while playing for the Philadelphia 76ers in 1986, set an NBA playoff record for turnovers in a seven-game series with 37.

The team record for most turnovers in one playoff game is 36, held by Chicago against Portland on April 17, 1977.

Trivia answer: Karl Malone of Utah, 18, against the Lakers on May 10, 1997.

And finally: Some members of the Arizona Diamondbacks were passing time in the Cincinnati clubhouse by weighing their heads (really!).

Measurements were taken with the individuals laying on the ground and their heads resting on a scale. Assistant trainer Dave Edwards topped the list at 19 1/2 pounds. But pitcher Todd Stottlemyre wasn’t so sure.

He suggested a more accurate method: “Chop them off.�