This One Was a Real Monster of an Upset

Greg Cote, writing in the Miami Herald: “I happened to be in a sports bar the other night, conducting research, when I heard two patrons, in unison, shout, ‘GONZAGA!’

“I recoiled in horror. See, I thought Gonzaga was the creature in a 1965 low-budget film, a 90-foot cricket that attacked Tokyo--and now had set its marauding sights on innocent sports bars.

“Turned out ‘Gonzaga’ was a basketball team in the NCAA tournament. Gonzaga reaching the Final Four? Gonzaga has a better chance of devouring Tokyo.”

Not so fast, Greg. Gonzaga beat Florida on Thursday, 73-72, and is one win away from advancing to the Final Four.

And, Greg, of course, you knew that Gonzaga is the alma mater of Bing Crosby. Ever hear of him?

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Trivia time: How many times have schools from the same conference met in the NCAA men’s championship game?

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Cub curse: Jay Mariotti in the Chicago Sun-Times: “Only in Cubdom does Kerry Wood become Kerry Would. Only in the land of billy-goat curses and dropped fly balls does a stud with a lethal arm see the elbow doctor at 21, fearing he’s through just as he got started.

“Roger Clemens wins five Cy Young awards and rules baseball into his mid-30s. Nolan Ryan is a scary SOB until he’s an old man.

“Kerry Would? He’s jinxed. He’s damaged goods. He injures a ligament as he’s making history. He’s a Cub.”

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More Wood: Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “[Wood] is like one of those teenage tennis burnouts. Instead of being the next Clemens, he is the next Jennifer Capriati. How sad is that?”

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Another indignity: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Hall of Famer Elgin Baylor is the Los Angeles Clippers’ vice president of basketball operations.

“During a break in a Lakers-Clippers game at the Sports Arena, the listed answer for a message-board trivia question was ‘Elgin Taylor.’ ”

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Sturdy, at least: Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe, on one of his favorite hoopsters, Connecticut guard Khalid El-Amin: “He looks like one of those little dormitory fridges with a head.”

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Trivia answer: Three. Indiana and Michigan of the Big Ten in 1976 (Indiana won, 86-68); Villanova and Georgetown of the Big East in 1985 (Villanova won, 66-64) and Kansas and Oklahoma of the Big Eight in 1988 (Kansas won, 83-79).

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And finally: Larry Guest in the Orlando Sentinel: “[Magic Coach] Chuck Daly recalls a golf outing with Michael Jordan during the Dream Team Olympics in Barcelona, Spain.

“Seems a club attendant brought him Jordan’s wallet, which Michael had dropped while loading his clubs on a cart.

“Just for amusement, Daly and another Dream Teamer decided they’d peek to see how much cash Michael was carrying and were startled to find $13,000 in the wallet.

“ ‘And he dropped it out of his cart twice more during the round,’ Daly adds.”