LAUGH LINES
On the Campaign Trail: Responding to preemptive attacks from Democrats, George W. Bush says they must be worried. “If Al Gore was your leading candidate, you’d be worried too.†(Ira Lawson)
On the Campaign Trail II: “It doesn’t feel like the presidential campaign has started. Ross Perot hasn’t even dropped out yet.†(Jay Leno)
Speaking of Perot: The former candidate is not in the race--so far. “He’s too busy with acting offers after his terrific performance in ‘Austin Powers’ as Mini-Me.†(Leno)
What a Ride: Disney World plans to build a new roller coaster based on the band Aerosmith. “Apparently it’ll be the longest roller coaster ever because right in the middle of it you have to spend a few years in rehab.†(Conan O’Brien)
On the Big Screen: There may be a new installment of “The Godfather.†“Before you start panicking, Sophia Coppola’s character was bumped off at the end of ‘Godfather III.’ †(Daily Scoop)
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Chris Pina’s Essential
List of the Day
New aromatherapy scents to avoid:
* Misty Detroit
* Minty feet
* Eau de Roquefort
* Whisper of tuna
* Breezy socks
* Burrito Supremo
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Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
