Greens May Put Them on the Lunatic Fringe

By BILL PLASCHKE

June 17, 1999 12 AM PT

PINEHURST, N.C. — Chuck Bettilyon rested a long face on two clenched fists, then shook his head.

“Amazing,” he said.

Bettilyon is a longtime golfer and fan. His idea was a good one. Thought so, anyway.

Earlier Wednesday, he had driven 90 minutes from Raleigh to watch the final practice round for the U.S. Open at the legendary Pinehurst No. 2 course.

He would study the pros. He could learn from the legends. He plopped down in the bleachers amid the tall pines that lined the 16th hole.

An hour later, he had not seen one good shot.

Balls stopped 40 feet short of the pin or bounced 40 feet past or rolled up one side of the green and down the other.

Davis Love III tried 10 shots from the sand, and each ended up closer to Myrtle Beach.

Fred Couples tried nearly a dozen chips, all of which rolled harmlessly toward South Carolina.

Bettilyon winced like his heroes.

“Best players in the world, and they can’t even come close?” he said.

Welcome to the U.S. Open.

The Undulating, Skidding Open.

The Upset Stomach Open.

From the tee to the area around the green, it will be golf as usual.

But once around the green, it will be luge.

“Treacherous,” Jose Maria Olazabal said.

“The smallest-playing large greens that I’ve ever seen,” Jack Nicklaus said.

What one fan was saying Wednesday, all of us will be saying in one form or another by Sunday.

Best players in the world, and they’re chipping to the green with a three-wood?

Best players in the world, and they would rather hit off the cart path than the fringe?

Best players in the world, and they’re turning short approach shots into running jokes?

After hitting seven wholly unsuccessful chip shots on the seventh hole, David Duval just walked away and laughed.

“People will see it on TV--balls are going to roll and not stop for a while,” he said.

Is it any wonder it took 63 years for a major tournament to pound its stakes into this Donald Ross-designed course?

It’s not just because the USGA isn’t thrilled with holding its national championship in a place you can only find with a flashlight and a hunting dog.

It’s also because it wasn’t sure about holding its national championship in a place where the most appropriate golf ball might be a purple one.

The issue is not simply with how Ross designed the greens. It’s that he didn’t know when to stop.

Every hole has a main green the approximate shape of a wet noodle. Curving, swerving, enough little hills that some should include steps.

“You’ll be looking down and see a player trying to come up and not see but the top of his head,” Duval said. “It’s going to be fun to watch, I’m sure.”

But then, every hole also has a secondary green, the area around the green.

On other courses, it’s called fringe and rough.

Here, it’s called crazy.

A shot that rolls past the green can keep rolling all the way to the next tee box.

A shot that is short of the green requires a perfect chip shot to keep it close to the hole. Or should that be a putt? Who knows? We’re going to find out.

“To have it that way on every hole?” asked Jay Kincannon, veteran caddie for Scott Gump. “To have no rough at all around any green? That’s going to make it very interesting.”

It will also make it very American, which adds the perfect touch to this country’s most perfect tournament.

The Masters is a church service. The PGA Championship is a fraternity dinner.

The U.S. Open is a block party, loud and loose and open to anybody brave enough to handle the commotion.

The jiggly, jello-mold greens and their surroundings fit perfectly into the theme that one can win this country’s national tournament only with the attributes that embody this country.

The champion must embrace diversity.

“You can use a three-iron; you can use a three-wood; you can use a five-iron, seven, nine, sand wedge, lob wedge,” said Olazabal, one of several players so confused they sound like Dr. Seuss.

Or you can be like Payne Stewart, who “chipped” with nine clubs during a practice round.

The champion also must show perseverance.

“You get a guy that hits a rocket over the third green, he might be talking to the guys down on the five green, deciding who’s away,” said Love. “Hit you a little flier over the 14th green . . . and its down at the 10 fairway.”

And the champion must show old-fashioned ingenuity.

“You have to hit to areas; you can’t hit to the pin,” said Kincannon. “There are a lot of sucker pins, and if you miss them, the ball is going to roll and roll.

“Each green has two safe areas. You have to hit to one of those two areas.”

The champion, of course, will be the one who chips and putts the best.

So far, that appears to be . . . Patrik Sjoland?

The unknown Swede pondered his ball sitting five yards off the 14th green for several moments Wednesday before pulling out his three-wood . . . and knocking it up the slope, down another slope, then up and into the hole.

The crowd cheered. Sjoland shrugged.

“First time I ever tried that,” he said.

Best players in the world, and they’ll remind us of us, and what can be more American than that?

Bill Plaschke can be reached at his e-mail address: [email protected].