Check Mate

By RICHARD WARCHOL

Feb. 14, 1998 12 AM PT

SPECIAL TO THE TIMES

Rich and successful, Neil is a credit to these parts.

Nice car, big house on Westlake Lake and single.

But this oh-so-eligible Valentine has been oh-so-unlucky in love.

Seems every time the 45-year-old venture capitalist from Thousand Oaks meets a woman, he worries she may only be after his loot.

“People with a lot of money are targets,” he notes.

What he needs is a detective, someone who can take a deep look into Ms. Maybe’s criminal and financial past before she takes Neil to the cleaners.

What he found is a guy named Maury Friedman, who built his own fortune in the engineering world with something called pneumatically driven, high-pressure liquid pumps and gas boosters.

Friedman’s new line of work is easier to understand.

Just call him the Engineer of Love.

A Conejo Valley philanthropist and married father of three sons, Friedman has founded what he says is among the world’s most exclusive and discriminating Internet-based introduction services.

Launched in August 1997 and set to be fully up and running by March 2, Friedman’s Westlake Village-based firm, “By Invitation Only,” offers a rigorous background check of prospective mates.

Men must be 40 or older and earn at least $100,000 annually. Women must be at least 35 and earn $40,000 or more. Both must be willing to plunk down $1,200 a year to join the service.

Friedman insists the income requirements--lower for women to ensure enough are eligible--are not about assuring affluence. It’s more about being sure that members are “men and women of similar or superior caliber” who are good, honest, stable citizens.

Proof that they make a heap of money is the easiest way to assure that, he said.

“The reality is, it works, for the most part,” Friedman said. “It is only a measure of stability, not that people making more money are better people. It’s just a measuring stick.”

Proving an income level is just the start.

Members have to fill out an application and agree to an in-depth interview by another member, hoping to convince that person to sponsor your application.

And you better be squeaky clean and willing to prove it.

All members must allow a private investigator to probe for criminal histories, bankruptcies, tax liens and judgments and drunken driving convictions. Also examined will be marital status, driver’s license records history and child support payments.

Those who pass get a secret password allowing them to browse electronically through descriptions of dozens of other eligible singles, who remain anonymous unless they agree to a meeting.

As Friedman puts it, “It is a virtual country club.”

For Neil and the 300 others who already have passed the background check, the service is all about security and knowing a whole lot about a prospective mate’s interests and past very quickly.

And, of course, there is that air of wealth and success.

“The main thing is the screening,” Neil said, “and the fact that there’s some exclusivity, which is kind of a draw and an ego trip.”

Nan can’t wait.

Divorced for two years now, the 50-year-old Ventura therapist has passed her background check and can’t wait to start browsing.

What she has discovered at singles parties and clubs is something she never knew existed: guys who make a whole life out of being single.

Nan’s just looking for someone serious enough to appreciate the virtue of a good relationship.

His wealth doesn’t matter, she said. It’s the added aspect of safety that she finds most appealing about the new service.

“I’m not a particularly materialistic person, but I think that people having to be screened is a good incentive to attract a person serious about being in a relationship,” she said.

Caroline Shrednick, the company’s marketing director, said the service allows clients to avoid having to ask the toughest questions, and guarantees that the answers they get are the truth.

After all, are there no nice ways to ask those most pressing questions like “Ever beat your wife?” or “Ever ripped off a loved one?”

“The excitement for them is I’m doing all the terrible checking for them,” Shrednick said. “They don’t even have to ask those questions.”