OK, It’s Time to Round Up the Usual Suspects

For those beginning to suspect that sports has turned into a long-running attempt to build new arenas or stadiums with your tax dollars, accompanied by owners’ threats to move, in between labor disruptions, what can we say but, you’re right?

Stadiums are planned or going up in San Diego and Seattle, while the Padres and Mariners are criticized for unloading payroll after getting voters to approve bond issues.

The NBA is locking players out. Baseball could rumble again in 2001 and NHL owners just voted to establish a $300-million strike fund, just in case it comes in handy when their contract expires in 2004.

“In the event that somewhere down the line there’s a work stoppage or something, you can’t plan too far in advance,” says NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman.

“I’m not looking to pick a fight, but in terms of prudence, it seems to be something that organizations that do collective bargaining like to do.”

Besides, Bettman says, the NHL players’ union already has established an $80-million strike fund.

OK, sports fans, have a nice day.

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Keep thinking, Pierre: The NHL also is trying to figure out how to get teams to play for wins rather than ties in overtime, leading to some imaginative proposals, like one by Colorado General Manager Pierre Lacroix that teams play three-on-three in the extra session.

“I said, ‘Why not start the game with three guys?’ ” Edmonton Oiler President Glen Sather told the Toronto Globe and Mail.

“Just think of the money we could save. Or no goaltender, if you want to decide the game. Or have one team not use sticks.”

Discussions are continuing.

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Trivia time: Who are the only two relief pitchers in baseball’s Hall of Fame?

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Happiness is a big advance: The Charlotte Hornets’ Anthony Mason, famous for his constant complaining, has been riding out this lockout surprisingly well.

Turns out, Mason asked the Hornets for a $900,000 loan before the curtain clanged down, and they gave it to him.

As David Stern or the city of Cleveland could tell you, never trust an owner.

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Or else: Kansas City Chief Coach Marty Schottenheimer used to get enough grief when he was making the playoffs and not going very far in them.

Imagine what he’s hearing now, since the Chiefs won’t even have a chance of being knocked out in the first round.

Says General Manager Carl Peterson: “I imagine at some point we’ll talk about what happened this season, why it happened. Look, I’m a stubborn Swede, he’s a stubborn German and I’m sure we’ll both return with a new vigor to turn this thing around.”

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Trivia answer: Hoyt Wilhelm and Rollie Fingers.

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And finally: Golden State Warrior forward Duane Ferrell, on the NBA impasse: “My wife and I were watching the news the other night and she said maybe we ought to get Billy Hunter and David Stern in a room and threaten them with those air strikes until they get something done. It seems personal now. It’s not even about the issues.”