Strange Species Creeps Into Area

Once-liberal Santa Monica may be taking a more law-and-order approach, but Toni Sparano never figured that her book group would be raided.

During a picnic in a park.

At noontime.

“This police officer told us that he had gotten a report from a neighbor that a bunch of people were drinking and creating a nuisance in the park,� Sparano said. “Here we were, six well-dressed professional women. Then his partner comes over to see if he needs any help. We laughed so hard.�

I wondered if maybe the book-club members had been in a heated debate--perhaps over the Modern Library’s recent ranking of the alleged top 100 English-language novels of this century. But Sparano said the gathering was very low-key.

The officers didn’t issue any citations. Still, Sparano is left wondering whether someone fears an infestation of bookworms in the neighborhood.

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LIFE IMITATING RERUNS: Testimony during a trial in Santa Monica halted suddenly when a man entered the courtroom and dropped off an envelope with one of the lawyers. Sure enough, says juror Hank Rosenfeld, the opposing lawyer cracked, “Perry Mason!� The first attorney, playing along with the joke, told the messenger, “Thank you, Mr. Drake�--a reference to the private eye of that TV show.

OK, it wasn’t side-splitting humor. But as the appreciative Rosenfeld observed, “We jurors needed some lighter moments--the case was about genital warts.�

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DRAMATIC REVELATION! Yes, it was like something out of a “Perry Mason� episode. L.A. Deputy Dist. Atty. Bill Woods came across a transcript from a Torrance trial “in which the defendant’s attorney, in his closing argument, finally revealed the truth about lawyers� (see accompanying).

I always knew they were a bunch of roguish wordsmiths.

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GHOST SHIP? Lisa Hart of West Hills spotted an announcement from a cruise ship whose departure schedule indicates that there’ll be plenty of vacancies at the captain’s table during the voyage (see accompanying).

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HE’S BACK: Well, I’ve returned from my two-week vacation. One of the frustrations of leaving the area is the knowledge that I’ll miss several strange and wonderful events here. And, sure enough, I was absent for:

* A traffic stoppage on the Long Beach Freeway that was caused by a crew making a movie version of the TV show “CHiPs.�

* A fascinating Caltrans news conference that included a demonstration of “a new fast-setting concrete (hydraulic cement concrete) on a segment of the new Route 60/71 interchange project in Pomona.�

* And finally, as a promo for a sportsy comedy movie, the announcement that actor Robert Vaughn would “unveil a new ‘BASEketball’ exhibit for the Celebrity Lingerie Museum� at Frederick’s of Hollywood.

And you ask why I find it so difficult to stay away from L.A.?

miscelLAny:

Needing some information from the L.A. City Planning Department, Alexander Berkov of Encino included a stamped, self-addressed envelope, as requested. “I did receive the requested information,� he said. “However, some bureaucrat crossed out my 32-cent stamp and metered the envelope for 23 cents.� Your tax dollars at work. . . .

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.