Learning the ABCs of B

We were in trouble as soon as we got out of the car, and things went downhill fast. The owner of the Wisconsin bed and breakfast grimaced at the sight of our two small, messy children sucking Tootsie Roll pops. Matt wasn’t yet 4; Reggie just a toddler. “I hope they aren’t going to eat those things inside,� said the man who had gushed over the phone about how much he loved children.

I immediately realized mistake No. 1: I’d neglected to ask how often he hosted young kids.

We decided to take a tour of the extensive grounds while Matt and Reggie finished their lollipops. That, it turned out, was mistake No. 2. Our always rambunctious Matt promptly pushed the owner’s cat into the goldfish pond. The kitty wanted to go swimming, he explained. Despite our profuse apologies, the furious owner ordered us to leave immediately, lambasting our parenting skills all the way to the car. We were too shaken to try to salvage the weekend. We drove home four hours to Chicago.

Flash forward 10 years.

This time we have four kids with us--our three plus a friend’s--when we unexpectedly need a place to spend the night in New England. “We get lots of kids. You’ll be very happy here,� promised the innkeeper over the phone.

I was dubious, but the facility had a pool, and we were all anxious to get out of the car.

As soon as we drove up and the kids tumbled out of the back, we were greeted by a hearty welcome. I relaxed immediately. In fact, I’m happy to report, our stay at the Franconia Inn in New Hampshire turned out to be one of the high points of our trip.

“I hope innkeepers are starting to realize that there’s a big market with families,� said Susanne Lakin, a mom herself who built Lost Whale Inn in Trinidad, Calif., especially for families. “We get people from around the world who say they picked us because we take kids,� said Lakin, noting that some families return every year ([707] 677-3425). How can you tell if a B&B; truly welcomes kids and doesn’t just tolerate them? Call and ask.

“We truly welcome children--we have a beach and wonderful tide pools that are magical--but it’s a challenge in the inn-keeping business to keep those looking for a romantic getaway and those with their kids happy,� said Karen Brown. She owns the 10-room Seal Cove Inn in Moss Beach, Calif., just south of San Francisco, and is author of “California Charming Inns and Itineraries� (Fodor’s, $17.95). (For information, call [415] 728-7325.)

All the guests--adults as well as kids--were having a good time at the Franconia Inn. Not only were there plenty of other kids around, but each was made to feel he or she was a valued guest, through the children’s dining menu, the board games and the cartoons on the big screen television downstairs. Of course the pool helped, as did the bicycles, croquet set and riding stable next door. (Call the Franconia Inn at [800] 473-5299 and ask about their Christmas packages, complete with an appearance by Santa.)

“There are times couples are disappointed and complain it’s not quiet enough,� said Alec Morris, who co-owns the Franconia with his brother. But, as the travel industry now knows, families are very good business. And B&Bs; can be good for families. Staying in a castle in Scotland, an adobe house in the Southwest or on a farm in New England can be more fun than a standard motel. And B&B; inns can be cheaper than a comparable hotel, typically between $75 and $125 for a family of four, with breakfast.

“Families like that personal touch, to feel they’re an instant part of the community,� explained Pamela Lanier, whose “Complete Guide to Bed & Breakfasts USA and Worldwide� (Ten Speed Press, $16.95) includes about 20,000 properties. More than half of those listed accept children--a significant change from a decade ago, Lanier notes. (Find kid-friendly spots at https://www.travelguides.com)

But pick the wrong B&B; and you’ll be as miserable as we were in Wisconsin that weekend.

You’ll be just as unhappy if you’re after a quiet, romantic getaway and have a noisy kid next door. Choose one of the many places that don’t welcome children under 12, said Sandra Soule, author of “America’s Great Little Inns� (St. Martin’s Press, $19.99). Or visit https://www.inns.com on the Web.

If you’re having problems finding the home-away-from-home you want, consider calling Innpoints Worldwide at (800) 401-2262. The agency represents more than 600 small B&Bs;, inns and hotels across the country and abroad and can tell you which properties welcome children.

Taking the Kids appears the first and third week of every month.