An Earful for Trick-or-Treaters

The Halloween Club, a costume shop in Santa Fe Springs that specializes in such grisly items as fake body parts and glistening plastic corpses, is really into the spirit this year.

From noon until 8 p.m. Thursday, on Halloween Eve, the store is holding an honest-to-goodness blood drive.

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EAR TO GROUND-ROUND: Many revelers will be celebrating Mike Tyson’s biting attack on boxing rival Evander Holyfield this year.

Halloween Club manager Kathy Crawford said that one of her biggest sellers is a Tyson mask that has an ear protruding from the mouth (price: $29.95).

In fact, the item is so popular that at one point during our interview, she asked an assistant, “Do we have an ear in all of them?�

She explained: “Originally we had the Tyson masks without the ear. What we did was find some ears in the store (after the Holyfield fight) and attach them to the masks.�

Crawford said that if there’s a temporary shortage of lobes, it’s no cause for alarm. “I’m sure we can find some more ears,� she vowed.

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JUST REMEMBER TO USE A LIZZY LITTER BOX: Mrs. John Bro of Hemet sent along an ad she spotted in a weekly for what is allegedly a very tidy iguana (see excerpt).

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TWO-FINGER SALUTE THEORY (CONT.): Carol Nelson of Northridge and Kimberly Delafuente of Cerritos, among others, sent warnings about using the peace sign to apologize to other drivers on the roadways. You never know when you might be signaling an English or Australian motorist.

Delafuente points out that angry Britons flash a “two-finger salute, which I think has just as vulgar a meaning as our own one-finger salute.�

It’s somewhat similar to an inverted peace sign, only the two fingers are together.

“As an expatriate Aussie,� Nelson adds, “let me assure you that the resultant reaction (to the inverted two-finger salute) wouldn’t merely be road rage but the equivalent of a declaration of war.

And it may well be too late for the small white surrender flag that (reader) Justin Chimienti (previously) suggested!�

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SOUNDS LIKE . . . : Dr. Michael Oppenheim of West L.A. wrote:

“I’m the doctor for about 50 L.A. hotels. When a guest wants a doctor, an employee calls me, and I call the guest.�

Oppenheim says that perhaps once a year he has the following experience with a hotel visitor, invariably one from another country.

He identifies himself as Dr. Oppenheim, whereupon the guest says he doesn’t want a doctor.

Oppenheim asks if he has the right room.

The guest says he does, but adds, “I want adopta.�

“You want a doctor?�

“No! No! I want adopta!�

Oppenheim adds, “After going back and forth for a while, it suddenly dawns on me: The guest wants an adapter--an electrical adapter for an electric razor or hair dryer. . . .�

Peace.

miscelLAny:

Steve and Paula Edwards of Pacific Palisades sent along a manual that was included in one of their wedding gifts--a “Guide to Pan Handling.� It actually pertains to cookware. But if the stock market keeps falling, a guide to the street corner-type of panhandling may be coming out soon.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.