Back-to-School Night Not Just for Parents of Younger Students

At most elementary schools, back-to-school night is a wonderful scene of happy chaos: hallways resembling a subway at rush hour, large adults willingly squeezing into small desks, and colorful work displayed on the walls.

Though some of that energy has begun to decline at the middle school level, there’s still a decent turnout every year. Then we hit high school, and this time-honored occasion runs out of steam. What once was a joy has now become a duty for many parents, and even more have opted out. I may have 36 students in my fourth period English class, but it is not unusual to have only 10 of their parents show up for back-to-school night. What has changed?

I think a lot of parents want to give their children a good send-off on the trip of life, and they want to be sure that the people helping their children along the way are the right ones. But somewhere down the road, they figure that their kids’ path is set and that trying to affect it in any meaningful way is no longer possible.

If a child has trouble with math, it’s a big concern in the early years. But once that same child reaches high school, the “not good at math� label has stuck and is accepted as a permanent condition. The same can be said for reading and writing. “She just can’t spell,� the mother of a sophomore will inform me. “He’s never liked reading,� a senior’s father will explain.

The problem with that attitude is that it assumes that by high school, it is no longer possible for a parent or a teacher to have any real influence. That the really important skills have either been mastered or they haven’t. That there will be no significant changes after the freshman year.

But that could not be further from the truth. There is much that can and should happen, but teachers need some sign that the parents are behind them and have not given up. The first evidence is to see who shows up for back-to-school night.

Teachers tend to believe that such folks may actually reinforce the lessons of the classroom on the home front. But even those parents may be reluctant to contact the teacher at other times. Doing some quick math, parents figure that a typical high school teacher in California may have 180 students. How can that person possibly give special attention to their child? If the truth be known, very few parents ever make such requests, so it’s not that difficult to honor the few who do.

I’m not suggesting a parent demand that a teacher “solve� a problem and then disappear. What I’m proposing is a real partnership that benefits everyone. Let’s say a parent is upset by a child’s chronic tendency to turn in assignments late. The parent sets up a convenient time to contact the teacher at back-to-school night. The parents, the child and the teacher come up with a plan to get work done promptly.

Under this system, all parties stay in touch and keep each other informed as the semester progresses. Thus, the final report card won’t be the first time parents discover, much to their exasperation, that the book report and the Civil War project never got turned in. Teachers rarely, if ever, get this kind of backing on the home front, despite the fact that such teamwork can work miracles.

A key function of back-to-school night is to set the foundation for a relationship with a child’s teacher that will last well beyond that one evening. Complaints and requests will be dealt with more readily if parents have done their homework and are coming from an informed position.

The importance of school and of parents who care about school does not end with eighth-grade promotion. There are four more years to stay just as involved and four more years that can still make a difference. So when back-to-school night rolls around again, how can you stay home?

Christine Baron, a high school English teacher in Orange County, is the co-author of “What Did You Learn in School Today?â€� You may reach her at [email protected] or at (714) 966-4550.