A consumer’s guide to the best and worst of sports media and merchandise. Ground rules: If it can be read, played, heard, observed, worn, viewed, dialed or downloaded, it’s in play here.

What: “Jeff Northrup’s Depressing Red Sox Home Page� web site.

Address: www.tiac.net/users/northrup/baseball.html

If Carl Pavano pitches the Montreal Expos into the 2001 World Series and Pedro Martinez goes 10-15 in his one and only season in Boston before bolting for free agency, maybe Tuesday’s Red Sox-Expos deal will one day crop up here, under the heading “Worst Trades Ever (How Stupid Can They Be?)�

Then, depressed Red Sox fans will be able to “Rate The Stupidity� and compare the infamous Pavano giveaway to other grievous blunders of the past as they vote for the “Red Sox personnel move [that] was the stupidest.�

Contenders already on the ballot:

* Jeff Bagwell to Houston for Larry Andersen: “Hey, cheer up, Bagwell’s only been MVP once since then.�

* Cecil Cooper to Milwaukee for “a very old and very fat George Scott and a never-was Bernie Carbo.�

* Sparky Lyle to the Yankees for Danny Cater: “Two hundred and what saves?�

* Bill Lee to Montreal for Stan Papi: “AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH.�

If those aren’t depressing enough, Red Sox fans can drag themselves over to “moments in Red Sox history even more depressing than the current state of affairs�--which includes the sale of Babe Ruth to the Yankees (“I can hardly talk about this man without crying!�) and Bucky Dent’s Red Sox-killing home run in the one-game playoff of 1978 (“I abhor this man and all he stands for!�)

Jeff Northrup, creator and curator of this pessimist’s paradise (subtitled: “79 Years and Still Counting,�) promised to post results of the Worst Trade poll “on the June update,� but the site reports it hasn’t been updated since May 26. Maybe he was too depressed.