CNDRALZ EVILLE STEPP ISTUH DEFENDS ZE FAMLEE NAME
Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV.
*
LIES! SLANDER! NO1 NDA FAMLEY
EVERR, EVERRR ABUZED DATGURL.
NOTT MYMOM, NOTMY SISTA,
NOTTMEE. ILOVD CNDRLAH.
WEALL DDID.
*
FROM DAYONE, IADMIRE DAT SKIN
LYKBUTA, THAT FLWLISS FIGUHR,
THOS TEENSI LTLFETE, PRHAPS
SLYTLEE 2SMALLL. BUT NO1PRFK.
*
ABOVALL IDID APRECI8 ZAT HELPFUL
ADDA2ED. “ILDOIT!” SHESED OVRNOVR.
AND DYD SSSSHE EVER! DUSTNN,
COOOKIN, WASHING KLOTHES, FIXENUP
DA PLUMBIN, ANNDD OPER8N HVY
EQMT WENEVER NECESRY. SHEE
WOULDE NOT LETUS LIFT ONE FINGER.
*
BYDAWAY, SINDRLA GTALONG GGRRR8
WITH MYMOM2. DATZRT!
“THA WIKKID STPMTHR.”
BUT THENN, EVERYHN YAKNO
ABOUTUS IZ WRRONNG.
*
MYTHE: CNDURLA OWNED NUTNBUT
APHEW STRINGY RRAGGS.
*
FACT: ACTUALY SHEDID GOROUN
MOSTLY INNNN JCREW.
*
MYTH: THE 2STEP SISTAHZ CHOKE
WID NVEE WHEN DAPRNCE DOTH
CHOOZE CNDRELA.
*
FAK: OCNTRAR! WEWENT, “OMIGOD!
LILSIS, APRNCSS! WHAAHOO”
*
OVCOORS, PRINS CHRMIN WAZ NNO
KATCH: AA YYNHYMR WTH AA
MNKYFCE ANDA MAJER FTFETSH.
*
SNDRLLA USED2 DB8 GOINOUT
ONN HEROWN ALLZTYM.
“IMGOIN.” “IMSTAYN.”
*
AFTER DE KOMI TAKEOVR THA
WHOLE FAIRYTL KINGDOM THINGO
KINDA WENTE PFFFT ANYWAAY.
THEREDS LOCKDUP PRYNTZ WUTSIT
AANDD CNDRRLA MOVD2AZ WV
ZKIDS. WEARE VRYVRY KLOSE. JJUST
YESTERDY ISEZ, “CIN, HON, BGD2USF,
LUZE TEN LBS. NO, 15...”
*
For translation of PL8SPK, please see Page 30
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