Believing the Impossible About Bill, Al

The UPS strike should provide momentary respite from the tawdry scandals of Bubba Man and Albert, prince consort. But their pesky little sleaze eruptions surface as consistently as Old Faithful, so the spectacle continues. One might conclude that the fawning libs who danced away the night at the second inaugural will soon be dancing to a different tune.

But conservative celebration is premature. Remember, above all else the left covets its grasp of statist power. Thus, with each new fund-raising or Whitewater allegation, the mop-up crews are right there with one oily spin or the other. Eager-beaver Democrats looking for White House “attaboys” vie to haul off the executive muck. Newspapers are filled with increasingly hysterical correspondence from liberal bug-eyes--amateur hucksters firing off missives in obeisance to the greater good of the welfare state.

Bleeding hearts become bleating mouths.

You have to hand it to the American left for its steely determination to rescue its agenda from the avalanche that is this administration’s contempt for the law. How else to explain the single-minded obtuseness to the ugly ethical detritus littering the vaunted bridge into the 21st century?

Lately, the octane level of Clinton-Gore trespasses has escalated dramatically--though one couldn’t tell from the yawns elicited from their sycophants.

It’s a short stroll down memory lane to recall Vice President Al Gore’s claims of last March that he made White House fund-raising calls only “on a few occasions” and with a Democratic National Committee credit card. Five months have passed, and DNC records now show that Big Al actually used a Clinton-Gore campaign credit card to make nearly 50 arm-twisting calls. How four dozen dial-ups can be described as “few” bespeaks a rare arithmetical talent. Credit the “new math,” no doubt.

If that talent were widely shared, history would be kinder to many people. One can imagine Jesse James claiming that in addition to a respectable career as a horseman: “On a few occasions I robbed banks.”

Of course, because section 607 of the federal criminal code makes it a felony “for any person to solicit or receive any contributions . . . in any room or building occupied in the discharge of official duties,” it is arguable that Mr. Gore and Mr. James share a least one trait.

Speaking of apparently illegal phone calls, just two days after the Gore revelations, the DNC unearthed a dozen “Finance Call Sheets” for one Hillary Rodham Clinton. Each described the potential target’s donation history and proposed solicitations up to $50,000. According to the First Lady’s spokeswoman, Hillary--natch--”has no recollection of making fund-raising calls, but won’t rule out that she might have.”

And let’s not forget the “Back to Business Committee.” Sounds like some Chamber of Commerce promotion, doesn’t it? Wrong. Back to Business was a secretly funded organization (hit squad fits better) devoted--as reported by Associated Press--to “attacking Senate Republicans who were zeroing in on Mrs. Clinton’s role in Whitewater.”

In a Los Angeles Times report on Aug. 9, we learned that Back to Business, a campaign donor, was funded in part by a $25,000 pop from Johnny Chung, a campaign donor, that was solicited by a friend of Hillary’s, Lynn Cutler. Subsequently, Ms. Cutler arranged a private meeting for Mr. Chung with the American ambassador to China and another with a Commerce Department official. If the name Johnny C. rings a familiar note, it’s because that’s the same fellow to whom the DNC refunded $366,000 in questionable contributions. And he’s the very same person who visited the White House 49 times and observed: “I see the White House like a subway: You have to put in coins to open the gates.” Yep, he also refuses to testify without immunity.

The common honest person knows it’s impossible to believe that no laws have been broken or that no one is lying or covering up. As Alice told the Queen, “One can’t believe impossible things.” Replied the Queen: “I dare say you haven’t had much practice. When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

For Mike McCurry, Lanny Davis, the liberal editorialists in the nation’s press with no taste for bringing down one of their own, and all the other guardians of this fortress of amorality, practice makes perfect. They believe the impossible every day.

Do you?