A Stroke of Publicity Genius

Steve Harvey is teaching at a journalism seminar until Aug. 18. While he’s gone, this space will be filled with excerpts from his book, “The Best of Only in L.A.”

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When the Department of Motor Vehicles put a picture of the Mona Lisa on a mock driver’s license as part of a publicity campaign, it had to use the name “Mona Liza Smith” to avoid confusion with real people. At the time, 17 Californians had licenses bearing the name Mona Lisa.

AN AUDIT IN YOUR FUTURE? Jay Nicholas of Ojai found a building where tax preparers might be able to predict what the IRS thinks of your return before yousend it in (see photo).

STUPID CRIMINAL TRICKS: During a sting operation, two men in Lennox tried to buy cocaine from a sheriff’s deputy whose jacket said “Sheriff” and whose cap bore the word “Narcotics” and the letters “LASD.”

I’M ON THE CAR PHONE WITH . . .: Gridlocked on the Santa Monica Freeway on her way to work, radio talk show host Barbara De Angelis performed the first 25 minutes of her program over the car phone. She also gave a Santa Monica freeway traffic report.

HE DESERVES A SPECIAL EMMY: After a convincing performance on the “America’s Most Wanted” TV show, Santa Monica actor Christopher Cotten was spotted at a Nashville fair by two women who thought he was the fugitive he portrayed--a Tennessee con man. They called police, who detained Cotten until the confusion was cleared up.

Had he been jailed, of course, his agent would have insisted on serving 10% of the sentence.

B.C.P. (BEFORE CELL PHONES): A Northridge woman was locked in a traffic jam on the Golden State Freeway when she heard disc jockey Charlie Tuna declare her the winner of a drawing for several hundred dollars worth of stereo equipment. All she had to do to claim her prize was phone the station within 30 minutes. Alas, she couldn’t get off the freeway in time.

WHERE SIG ALERTSKIS ARE COMMON: After experiencing car traffic in Moscow, former President Richard Nixon declared: “It’s worse than the Santa Ana Freeway.”

LIST OF THE DAY: Some church marquees sighted around town:

* “Our retirement plan is out of this world” (Burbank)

* “First Baptist Parking Only: Violators Will Be Baptized (L.A.)

* “Thou Shalt Not Park in the White Zone. Thank You.” (L.A.)

* “ The Lord Loveth a Cheerful Giver. He Also Accepteth From a Grouch” (North Hollywood)

* “This Is Your Last Chance to Pray Before the Freeway” (Torrance)

* “Free Faith Lifts Every Sunday” (Santa Monica)

* “Since AD 33” (L.A.)

And, during a heat wave, a Venice church’s sign said: “If You Think It’s Hot Here . . . “

EXCESS BAGGAGE: A newspaper account of a flea market’s fund-raiser noted: “Everybody brought along something no longer needed. Many of the women were accompanied by their husbands.”

L.A. TRIVIATA: The first combination automobile-airplane, the Waterman Studebaker, was produced in Santa Monica in 1937. It never got off the ground.

WHAT EVERY AMERICAN WORKER LEARNS EARLY: Public television KLCS, as part of an education series for viewers learning English as a second language, devoted one show to the process of calling in sick to work.

miscelLAny:

A “defecation bag” flown on an American shuttle mission sold for $350 at a Beverly Hills auction of space memorabilia. Fortunately, it was in mint condition.