For Incest Victim, 27, Cycle of...

DETROIT â€”  Last summer, Lorie Williams began a long struggle to wrench free from her father’s abusive influence for the first time in her 27 years. She moved into her own home, helped send him to jail with her testimony, tried to make a new life.

All the while, she was pregnant with the eighth child she says he fathered with her.

The boy’s birth on March 1--and Lorie’s father’s subsequent unsuccessful bid to get custody of his son--were just the latest developments in a life that astonishes even experts accustomed to the tragedies of child sexual abuse.

Some said they have never heard of a case like Lorie Williams’, in which an abused child has remained with the abuser for so long and had so many children with him. But they also cautioned that her experience should be a reminder of the extreme damage sexual abuse inflicts on its victims--especially when it occurs within the family.

“The potential is there because you’re numb,� said Linda, a 40-year-old Baltimore woman who says she was violently and repeatedly sexually abused as a young girl by her mother.

“You think, ‘If I do what you want, maybe you won’t hurt me. If I do what you want, maybe you’ll love me this time,’ � she said.

Though statistics on how many sexual abuse victims stay with their abusers into adulthood or become pregnant are hard to come by, experts said the situations are not all that uncommon.

“A lot of child sexual abuse victims continue to have sexual relations with their abuser past the age of 18,� said Lynne Henderson, an Indiana University law professor and an expert on violence against women. “In terms of numbers, nobody knows.�

It’s a complex web of the victim’s need and pain and the abuser’s obsessive control that makes it common for molested children to have difficulty leaving their abusive parents, incest victims and experts said.

“People don’t understand that it’s brainwashing,� said Michele, a 41-year-old Vermont woman. She said her father began sexually abusing her when she was 9 years old, resulting in three pregnancies by the time she was 17. She finally left.

“They don’t know any other way to live, so they stay. It doesn’t mean they want to be there. . . . It’s kind of like being a prisoner of war,� Michele said.

Michele’s obsession is searching for “Johnny,� the son she says was fathered by her father and born to her when she was 10 years old. She last saw him when her parents gave him away, she said. He was 2 weeks old.

She said her parents made her abort her next two pregnancies.

“It’s very dramatic, but it’s a fact of my life,� Michele said.

Lorie Williams said in court that her father, 55-year-old Walter Williams, began raping her regularly when she was 11. After her mother and other siblings left the home when she was 15, Lorie and her father lived together as a couple, bearing and rearing children, she said.

Her separation from her father came last July, when both were arrested at their home in rural southern Michigan on charges stemming from the severe malnutrition of one of their children, then a 1-year-old girl.

The deaths of two of their children in infancy were investigated, but for lack of evidence no charges were filed, Hillsdale County Prosecutor Michael Smith said.

Walter Williams pleaded no contest to a reduced charge of one count of attempted child abuse and was released May 9.

He gave up all rights to his and Lorie’s five other children in August. On April 5, a jury denied him custody of the newborn and he relinquished those rights as well.

Authorities are powerless to pursue more charges against him because the statute of limitations has expired on his alleged sexual abuse of Lorie when she was a child. In addition, Michigan is one of only three states where incest between adults is not illegal.

Lorie will be tried on second- and fourth-degree child abuse charges in October. As part of an effort to regain custody of her children, Lorie lives on her own and is in counseling, job training and parenting classes, said her attorney, David Grassi of Hillsdale.

She regularly visits the children, who are in foster care, he said. Lorie declined to be interviewed because of her pending trial.

But her older brother, Bruce, detailed painfully last summer how their father kept his grip on his sister.

“Whenever he’d leave the room, Lorie would tell me that he’s mean and terrible and he controls her life and her kids,� Bruce Williams told the Detroit Free Press. “She’d say, ‘I just don’t know what to do.’

“He was such an intimidating person. Real violent and vengeful. I felt helpless, just like Lorie did. I couldn’t really help her.�

Michele said sexual abuse victims live in a constant battle for survival, and under a fear so desperate that any means of getting away seems plausible.

“If you have a chance to break out you go for it. Maybe the abuse [of her children] was her only escape,� she suggested.

Lou Cozolino, a psychology professor at Pepperdine University in Malibu, compared sexually abusive families to small cults.

Sexual abusers, like cult leaders, use food deprivation, physical threats and humiliation to increase their control, he said.

“You can see how dangerous families are,� he said.

Linda agreed.

“The conditioning is very powerful,� she said. “There is a difference between a child that grows up with low self-esteem and the child that grows up with high self-esteem--but both of them have believed their parents.�

Cozolino’s research also has shown another reason some victims find it hard to leave abusive situations: They cope with the abuse by blocking it out so completely they are unaware that it happens or had happened, he said.

Linda left her mother’s home at 18, but didn’t get help until she was 30, when she noticed her efficient, happy life had started spinning out of control. Once, she found the peanut butter in the freezer and the pots and pans on the back porch.

Then she began to contemplate suicide--and wondered why.

“For years, I lived my life on emotional cruise control,� Linda said. “To break down and start feeling anything was too much. . . . Until you’re emotionally ready, you’re not going to deal with it.�

So with the help of her husband of 22 years and a 12-step support group for incest victims, she confronted her past.

Linda, Michele and the experts agreed that more education, vigilance in the schools and--above all--believing children’s claims of abuse could help protect future generations.

And the women said breaking out of their isolation was the first step to recovery. Therapy, especially in groups, has helped them lead well-adjusted, productive lives.

But the abuse will never fully leave any of them.

“I am responsible for my own recovery,� Linda said. “That may not be fair. But it’s possible.�

*

Although all former incest victims interviewed for this story volunteered the use of their full names, only their first names were used to avoid identifying people they have accused but who have not been charged.

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Where to Find Help

Some organizations that can offer help or referrals to victims of sexual abuse and incest:

* Survivors of Incest Anonymous, Baltimore, Md., has 900 self-help, 12-step chapters worldwide. Write to P.O. Box 21817, Baltimore, Md. 21222 for a directory, or call 1-410-282-3400.

* VOICES In Action, Chicago, Ill., is a national resource and education network that provides members a newsletter and referral lists for support groups and counselors. Write to P.O. Box 148309, Chicago, Ill. 60614, or call 1-800-786-4238 for a state-by-state directory.

* Incest Survivors Resource Network International, Las Cruces, N.M., provides information and sponsors workshops. Call 1-505-521-4260.

* Center on Sexual Abuse Pregnancy International, Milton, Vt., sponsors workshops and produces a newsletter. Write to P.O. Box 82, Milton, Vt. 05468-0082, or call 1-802-893-6284.

Source: Associated Press