This one’s on us, Frank: “I live...

This one’s on us, Frank: “I live on a small Danish island in the Baltic Sea called Bornholm,� writes Preben Oxbol. “In 1996, Mr. Frank Sinatra will be celebrating his 80th birthday. For that occasion I have written him a song. Would the L.A. Times be so kind as to suggest a suitable singer? I invite you to sing along with the enclosed tape.�

Thank you, Mr. Oxbol. We agree it’s time to start preparing for the big day (especially since Sinatra actually hits the big 8-0 this year, on Dec. 12.)

We’re a little tight on space so we’ll limit the tribute to the first stanza:

“Who sang the songs we always sing? Ol’ blue eyes Sinatra/ Who told Count Basie make it swing? Ol’ swinging Sinatra.�

And, of course, the stirring finale:

“Who has been drinking for a thousand years? Ol’ blue eyes Sinatra/ Who will be singing for a thousand years?/ Ol’ blue eyes Sinatra.�

Cheers!

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Would a traffic accident cause a Pedalert?One of the recommendations of the Pasadena Bicycle Advisory Committee is the construction of a bicycle freeway from that city to Downtown L.A.

It would be bicyclists only. No joggers, no walkers and, of course, no horseless carriages. The minimum speed limit would be 5 m.p.h. (You know how Southern California commuters are, though--we bet no one would go under 8 m.p.h.)

Proponents would make it a toll road to offset the cost, which they estimate at $30 million.

Pasadena has been this route before. The city unveiled an elevated, 11-mile-long wooden bicycle thoroughfare on Jan. 1, 1900. But it shut down several months later when usage declined. Too bad it was dismantled. A different kind of freeway was later built along the path--one for automobiles, the 110.

We assume the new bikeway would have some features the old one lacked. For instance, ride-sharing could be encouraged by installing a diamond lane--you know, for bicycles built for two.

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Lists of the Day: Pedaling to work on the freeway--would that be the way to go?

Some disadvantages:

1. No place to install your car fax.

2. Tough to shave or apply makeup while pedaling.

3. Constant exposure to other bicyclists’ Day-Glo outfits bad for the eyes.

4. When you get lost, it’s difficult to balance the Thomas Guide on your handlebars in traffic.

5. You arrive at work all sweaty--no one will want to talk to you.

Some advantages:

1. When you insult the cyclist in the next lane, he or she can hear you.

2. Maybe you’ll get on an episode of the new reality show, “Bicycle Cops.�

3. The CHP bicyclist pursuing you may be more out of shape than you are.

4. You don’t have to look at automobile bumper stickers that say things like, “My Child Is Smarter Than Yours Will Ever Be.�

5. You arrive at work all sweaty--the boss won’t want to come close to you.

miscelLAny An ad in Competitor magazine for Saturday’s 10K L.A. Philharmonic Run at Griffith Park says the race’s features include “music along the course.� Let’s hope they don’t demoralize some participants by playing Schubert’s “Unfinished.�