HOW WELL DO YOU REMEMBER 1??3

Last year is dwindling in the rear-view mirror, tumbling down the memory hole, shuffling off to the Valhalla of Used Eras to await the whimsical verdict of the nostalgia gods.

A serious year in many respects, a time when San Fernando Valley residents were left dazed by streaks of crime, felt the heat of a catastrophic fire, and elected their guy mayor of Los Angeles.

But it was also the year when “bring on the clowns� meant clapping Bozo in jail, a year when men’s swimsuit fashion broke strange new ground. It was a year of momentous court actions, when Elvis turned up in a tabloid murder trial, when another trial debated actor Michael J. Fox’s taste in date-trap decor, a year when the irresistible force of political correctness encountered the immovable object of a fireman reading Playboy.

Surely, you haven’t forgotten already? After all the work we did bringing those stories to you? You’re sure?

Well, just to reassure us, let’s see how well you do on this little pop quiz on some of the high points of Valley Life in this past year that some of us will never forget--no matter how hard we try.

So, put yourself to the test: What did you learn from 1993?

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1 - Kevin McCandless was left breathless and sore-handed in November because he:

* a) Walked on his hands along glass-strewn Ventura Boulevard to protest prostitution and the shortage of parking places.

* b) Played 180 holes of golf in 12 hours in a publicity stunt to raise money for Midwest flood victims.

* c) Found that his scheme to power a light commuter aircraft with wild geese, Velcroed to the fuselage, had certain design flaws.

*

2 - Even Elvis Presley figured in the Menendez brothers’ murder trial when jurors were treated to a tape of Beverly Hills psychologist L. Jerome Oziel crooning one of The King’s melodies for his then-lover, Judalon Smith. The song he sang was:

* a) “Heartbreak Hotel�

* b) “Don’t Be Cruel�

* c) “Just Tell Her Jim Said Hello�

* d) “Don’t Cry, Daddy�

*

3 - This musical sold out for 12 weeks at the Universal Amphitheater in 1972 and returned there last May for the venue’s 20th anniversary:

* a) “Oklahoma!�

* b) “Jesus Christ Superstar�

* c) “Springtime for Hitler�

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4 - Once again during 1993, the community of Malibu Lake avoided suburban sprawl by way of its:

* a) Unreasonably high property values.

* b) Hidden location in the Santa Monica mountains.

* c) Sloppily maintained nuclear power system.

*

5 - The body of water that gave Toluca Lake its name remains largely a mystery because:

* a) The Owens Valley Liberation Front sucked it dry several years ago, and so it no longer exists.

* b) A homeowner group’s covenant prohibits photo-taking or descriptions of the lake.

* c) During filming of “The Ten Commandments,� actor Charlton Heston, playing Moses, parted the “Red Sea� waters there, and the studio is preserving it for the sequel.

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6 - Who was Tiburcio Vasquez and why were people talking about him last year?

* a) A locally active Old West bandit; officials in Acton-Agua Dulce considered naming a school after him, annoying residents who regard him as a poor role model in an era when children are all too prone to gunslinging, without encouragement.

* b) A Tarzana man who starred in Valley-made porno films which became an issue in Senate hearings on the nomination of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.

* c) A landscape architect who won a lawsuit entitling him to 50% of the profits derived from oil he discovered in the back yard of a Studio City home while planting begonias.

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7 - In December, an Antelope Valley firefighter filed a lawsuit, alleging that his First Amendment rights were violated because county supervisors banned all sexually explicit material from the firehouse, including Playboy, a monthly he reads religiously. His rationale was that:

* a) He subscribes for the in-depth articles and amusing cartoons, and there just happen to be these pictures of nude women among them.

* b) To assist the department’s affirmative action program, he is searching for pictures of women who appear rugged enough to pass its tough admission physical.

* c) The centerfolds are pinned up inside his locker, where they cannot be seen by anyone who might be offended.

*

8 - What organization defended the firefighter’s rights in the above case and then turned around and sued the San Fernando Police Department for allegedly permitting officers to prominently post semi-nude pictures of a model who resembled one of their very own police dispatchers?

* a) National Organization for Women.

* b) Accuracy in Media.

* c) American Civil Liberties Union.

* d) Libertarian Firefighters Alliance.

9 - How did an alleged Lancaster bank robber make news in December?

* a) He insulted and pistol-whipped a teller, then asked her to marry him.

* b) He dropped a dollar of his loot into a Salvation Army kettle outside the bank he had just robbed.

* c) He held up a bank managed by his own grandmother.

*

10 - An appeals court last June overturned the disturbing the peace conviction of a Santa Clarita Valley man who had pinned an angry note on the van of a sheriff’s deputy who had issued him a traffic ticket. The court concluded that the note’s message did not amount to “fighting words.� The note said:

* a) “Deputy J. Banks can suck my duck.�

* b) “L.A. Sheriffs--They treat you like a King.�

* c) “County Mounties--chickens and pigs.�

*

11 - Walt Disney, who died in 1966, is buried in:

* a) A cryogenic chamber in the arch above Main Street U.S.A. at Disneyland.

* b) A simple wall crypt at Forest Lawn’s Glendale cemetery.

* c) A mouse-infested tomb in the basement of his corporation’s Burbank headquarters.

*

12 - Which word accurately reflects the term a juror applied to former state Sen. Alan Robbins after his testimony against lobbyist Clayton Jackson and former state Sen. Paul Carpenter during a trial on political corruption charges?

* a) “Patriot�

* b) “Liar�

* c) “Scumbag�

*

13 - Los Angeles City Councilwoman Laura Chick was angered by a lack of cooperation among city agencies because:

* a) She learned that internal policies forbid firefighters to date police officers.

* b) City water and power workers refused to lend a bulldozer to help police search a mound of rotting wood chips for a car, which detectives said was buried there in an insurance scam.

* c) Traffic enforcement officers gave her official car 13 parking tickets, apparently because of an untrue rumor that she had called them “meter maids.�

*

14 - A former Van Nuys Superior Court bailiff filed suit seeking reinstatement after he was fired for:

* a) Having sex with a Van Nuys court clerk in the judge’s chambers.

* b) Grabbing his crotch in front of a female clerk.

* c) Telling a juror she had nice legs.

* d) All of the above.

15 - A Valley jury acquitted a man of charges that he had revenged himself on an ex-girlfriend by:

* a) Driving a pickup truck loaded with goat manure into her bedroom.

* b) Paying all her bills for her with checks signed “Heidi Fleiss.�

* c) Strangling her pet monkey.

*

16 - When his body was found floating in Lake Palmdale last July, the drowned man was wearing:

* a) A Marine Corps general’s uniform.

* b) Full “Star Trek� regalia.

* c) A black satin, spaghetti-strap mini-dress.

*

17 - On April Fool’s day, 9,000 copies of the Cal State Northridge student newspaper, the Sundial, were stolen. The thieves left a ransom note demanding:

* a) That all clocks on campus be synchronized--�not necessarily with the correct time, just the same time.�

* b) Lower condom prices in restroom vending machines.

* c) That a fraternity mascot be appointed to a top campus administration post.

* d) All of the above.

18 - Forty-one-year-old Terry Knutson--�Clownzo� the clown to you--was arrested in December because:

* a) He picketed the Jackson family compound in Encino, dressed in children’s clothing and carrying a sign that read “Hey Mike, leave the weird makeup and clowning around with the kiddies to me.�

* b) His neighbors and city officials didn’t think it was funny that mounds of clutter, junk and garbage piled up in and around his Mission Hills home in an endless stream, like those little clowns that just keep getting out of the crowded car.

* c) He showed up for a kindergarten gig with a blank-firing starter’s pistol and school district police wrestled him to the ground and cuffed him.

19 - What local city is named after a famous literary and motion picture character?

* a) Sherman Oaks--after Sherman, the bespectacled little boy who teamed with an eggheaded dog named Doctor Peabody in the “Rocky and Bullwinkle� TV cartoons.

* b) Lancaster--after actor Burt Lancaster, who legend says trained for his first job in the circus on a trapeze hung between the two tallest buildings in town, where he could fall off without getting hurt.

* c) Tarzana--after the famous jungle man created by Edgar Rice Burroughs, who bought a ranch just south of Ventura Boulevard with the money the Tarzan books earned.

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20 - Speaking of Burroughs, bonus points if you know that he is buried:

* a) On the grounds of Castle Greystoke, now a bed-and-breakfast in suburban Liverpool.

* b) On a hillside overlooking the Olduvai Gorge in Africa.

* c) Under a tree outside his old office on Ventura Boulevard.

* d) On Bo Derek’s ranch.

21 - A woman who sued actor Michael J. Fox (“Family Ties,� “Back to the Future�) in a dispute over a Studio City home she bought from him described the decor of Fox’s former bedroom as:

* a) “A teen-age boy’s fantasy of a playboy’s life.�

* b) “A medieval torture chamber.�

* c) “Very Laura Ashley.�

*

Quiz Answers: 1:B, 2:C, 3:B, 4:B, 5:B, 6:A, 7:A, 8:C, 9:B, 10:A, 11:B, 12:C, 13:B, 14:D, 15:C, 16:C, 17:D, 18:B, 19:C, 20:C, 21:A. Times researcher David Brady contributed to this story.