Bird Found His Paradise in the Garden

Larry Bird and Boston were made for each other, writes Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe.

“The Boston-Bird marriage was truly mapped out in Basketball Heaven,” wrote Ryan after Bird’s uniform number, 33, was retired this month in a ceremony at Boston Garden. “Can you possibly imagine Bird in the L.A. atmosphere, schmoozing postgame with guys in open-neck shirts, the gold chains and the pinky rings? Larry and the Laker Girls? No, no, no.

“Larry Bird was meant to play in Boston Garden, where the sole item du jour is basketball. No dancing girls. No blaring rock music. Just basketball. The only background music Larry ever needed was the sound of 15,000 people chanting, ‘Lar-Ree! Lar-Ree!’ ”

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Trivia time: Who are the 15 former Celtic players whose numbers were retired before Bird’s?

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Olden Bears: California, which will play UCLA’s basketball team Saturday in the Oakland Coliseum Arena after beating the Bruins by 22 points last month in Pauley Pavilion, has not defeated UCLA more than once during the same season since 1959-60.

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The Doctor is in: Julius Erving, named last week to the Basketball Hall of Fame, recounted for Steve Jacobson of Newsday the first basket of his first professional exhibition game. Playing for the Virginia Squires against the Kentucky Colonels, he scored over Artis Gilmore and Dan Issel, both of whom were taller and more experienced.

“I went up and saw their hands higher than mine,” he said. “I saw the white hand went down. The black hand went down. I was still up there and I dunked. I knew then I could play in the pros.”

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Trade imbalance: From the Sporting News, on a report that the Minnesota North Stars are considering a move to Dallas: “Is Minnesota still trying to get even for the Herschel (Walker) deal or what?”

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Can’t we all get along? From Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Sun: “Any city that orders up a parade to celebrate a sports championship by one of its teams should be sent to the proper facility for psychiatric testing. Increasingly, it’s an invitation for roving bands of thugs to raise hell, as evidenced in Dallas (last week). Certainly, Troy Aikman didn’t skip out of the Pro Bowl after three quarters to be on hand for this.”

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Excess baggage: When Lars Ulrich, drummer for the rock band Metallica, brought one too many guests after chartering a boat for a shark-diving trip off San Diego, he had to leave his bodyguard at the docks.

No doubt the sharks felt safer.

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Lesser of two evils: Former major leaguer Jim Bouton, on modern baseball salaries: “My position is that while the players don’t deserve all that money, the owners don’t deserve it even more.”

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Trivia answer: Dennis Johnson, No. 3; Bill Russell, No. 6; Jo Jo White, No. 10; Bob Cousy, No. 14; Tom Heinsohn, No. 15; Tom (Satch) Sanders, No. 16; John Havlicek, No. 17; Jim Loscutoff and Dave Cowens, No. 18; Don Nelson, No. 19; Bill Sharman, No. 21; Ed Macauley, No. 22; Frank Ramsey, No. 23; Sam Jones, No. 24, and K.C. Jones, No. 25. Loscutoff’s jersey was retired with Cowens still playing so the Celtics hoisted a jersey reading “Loscy” to the rafters.

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More numbers: The Celtics also retired No. 1, in honor of original owner Walter Brown, and No. 2, in honor of Red Auerbach, president and former coach.

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Quotebook: High school running back Tavian Banks of Bettendorf, Iowa, after choosing Iowa over Nebraska: “I couldn’t see myself waking up in Nebraska.”