‘Where Are All the Fathers?’
I know that it is politically incorrect to discuss--or even acknowledge--our blatant discrimination against men, especially unmarried fathers.
Your editorial ends with seven rhetorical questions. Here are a few clues to consider:
- Our most dearly held stereotypes continue to be the nurturing woman (work is an option) and the instrumental, money-earning man (nurturing is an option). Men are trained to view themselves as secondary parents.
- Social programming is primarily designed for women and children, with “father absent or incapacitated†guidelines for many benefits.
- Tender-age doctrines and gender-specific statutes have redefined fatherhood as a rather tenuous legal and financial role, not a parenting role.
- Male-bashing is acceptable in the media, and has added to the shame and grief of many men, particularly divorced dads. Lost your job? You are now a deadbeat dad!
If and when it becomes politically correct to stop this dichotomous blaming and shaming, we might realize the high prices we pay for pushing men away from active parenting, and implement change.
JAMES A. KRUSE
Bakersfield
