L.A. SPEAK

A sampling of lingo used by the armies of door-to-door political canvassers.

bagel v. to fail to collect any donations in an entire shift. (“I totally bageled today.” adj. “I had a real bagel night.”)

cool people n. anyone who gives.

door n. prospect. “So I told the door that it was up to all of us to help make the world free of excessive nuclear weapons.”

instacheck n. a quick donation. “I just told her I was from the Clinton campaign and got an instacheck. “

hose v. used when something causes a canvasser to have an unproductive night. “Everyone wanted to get back to watching the convention. It really hosed us.” (Derived from the practice of homeowners turning their garden hoses on solicitors.)

member slut n. a canvasser who feigns agreement with a prospect’s most politically unpalatable ideas merely to secure the donation. (e.g. “Oh, certainly, those South Africans do know how to run a country. Now, if I could just have that check . . . .”)

roborap n. a pitch that the canvasser has said so often that it comes out by rote. trunk talk n. confidential discussion between a field manager and a canvasser.

whining liberal n. a left-leaning person who refuses to donate, claiming to be overcommitted: “No, please; I gave to the whales, I gave to the rain forest. I gave to . . . .”