Aussie Tips No One Ever Tells You

Thanks to brochures and travel agents, first-time travelers to Australia know all about beautiful Sydney harbor, the magnificent Great Barrier Reef and the Outback’s spectacular Ayers Rock before stepping off the plane.

But few vacationers have been told about the important things--such as what “bitumen” means, the difficulties of left-side driving or proper beer-glass terminology. These and many more fascinating differences in language, driving and food lay in wait to trip them up.

The Language

Some Australians tell the tale of Joseph Banks, Captain Cook’s botanist during the early exploration of Australia. As the story goes, Banks asked an aborigine what they called the funny looking bouncing creatures he had seen everywhere. The aborigine replied: “Kangaroo.” Banks dutifully recorded it for posterity, not realizing it actually means, “I don’t know.”

Foreigners have had a problem with language in Australia ever since. A few examples:

Ta, cuppa and smoke-o: Australians love to abbreviate. Ta is short for thank you, cuppa means cup of tea or coffee, and smoke-o means a cigarette break. You might also have a cuppa on a smoke-o.

Shout a beer: An expression any Australian loves to hear. It means to pay for a beer, as in: “My shout” for “This beer’s on me.”

Pommies: Australian term for Englishmen. Thought to come from the initials of a convict term: Prisoner of Mother England.

Fair Dinkum: Aussies say “It’s fair dinkum, mate” to mean something is genuine, true or fair.

Tucker: A term for food that came from what drovers (cowboys) could tuck in their saddle bag for a day.

Bitumen: Pronounced “bitch-a-men,” it means a paved road.

No matter how confusing things get, remember to keep trying. As one Western Australian farmer said, “If you just try talking to an Australian, you’ll never be alone. If you never approach an Aussie, you’ll have a mighty lonely trip.”

Driving on the Left

Aussies can always spot cars driven by foreigners--the windshield wipers usually flick on just before a turn. That’s because the wiper switch is where the turn signal used to be. Other adjustments include remembering, after a right turn, to stay to the left, and trying to get a sense of the left side of the car.

Because of all this, it’s best to get an automatic transmission--learning how to shift gears with your left hand while trying to keep track of everything else can be as dangerous as shouting “Aussies are wimps!” in an outback pub.

Most tourists think city driving will be the most nerve-racking. Unfortunately, rural driving can be just as difficult because of the animals. Depending on the area, potential targets include kangaroo, possums, emu, sheep, cattle and water buffalo. Hitting one of these at high speeds can be deadly, and the chance of that happening increases 10-fold after dark when most of them wander around foraging for food.

If you’re going to drive in the country, ask for a car with a “roo” (kangaroo) or “bull” (for water buffalo) bar attached to the front. The roo bar is aluminum, the bull bar is of sturdier steel. It will give you a sense of security and in some cases save you from the hefty $500 deductible many agencies now charge.

Culinary Differences

Traditional Aussie food includes meat and potatoes, lots of salt, real cream and butter. Much of it is bland, lacking in spices. Making up for this, though, are the Italian, Greek, Asian, Indian and other ethnic restaurants that abound.

Outside the big cities, Americans still get a funny look when they ask for a glass of ice water; ironically, a glass of water doesn’t seem to be appreciated on the driest continent in the world. Some other differences:

Ice coffee: In America, this is simply coffee over ice. In Australia, it is a delightfully wicked concoction that involves coffee, milk, a scoop of rich vanilla ice cream, whipped cream and chocolate flakes, all in an old-fashioned soda-fountain glass. Guaranteed to make you smile as it clogs your arteries.

Bacon: When visitors order bacon Down Under they not only get the regular strip Americans know, but also attached to it is a circular piece of meat--what Americans call Canadian bacon. Once you’ve had Aussie bacon, the American version looks cheap.

Containers of beer: This is actually a whole subculture that only native born Aussies seem to understand. A “schooner” is a 15-ounce glass of beer in New South Wales, but also a 9-ounce glass in South Australia. A 15-ounce glass in Queensland is called a “pot,” but in Western Australia it’s a “pint.” A “middy” is a 10-ounce glass of beer in New South Wales and Queensland, but also a 7-ounce glass in Western Australia. For those still confused . . . just ask for a beer!

Aussie Tourist Offices

AUSTRALIA (General information): Australian Tourist Commission, 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 1200, Los Angeles 90067; (310) 552-1988 or (800) 232-2121.

QUEENSLAND (Great Barrier Reef, Brisbane, the Gold Coast) : Queensland Tourist & Travel Corp., 1800 Century Park East, Suite 330, Los Angeles 90067; (800) 333-6050 or (310) 788-0997.

NORTHERN TERRITORY (Darwin, Ayers Rock): Northern Territory Tourist Commission, 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 1230, Los Angeles 90067; (800) 4-OUTBAC or (800) 468-8222; also (310) 277-7877.

WESTERN AUSTRALIA (Perth): 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 1210, Los Angeles 90067; (310) 557-1987.

SOUTH AUSTRALIA (Adelaide, Kangaroo Island): Tourism South Australia, 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 1210, Los Angeles 90067; (310) 552-2821.

NEW SOUTH WALES (Sydney, Canberra): New South Wales Tourism Commission, 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 450, Los Angeles 90067; (310) 552-9566

VICTORIA, TASMANIA (Melbourne, Hobart): Australia Naturally, 2121 Avenue of the Stars, Suite 1270, Los Angeles 90067; (310) 553-6352