Teaching Pupils What to Do About Abuse : Education: Volunteers tell grade-school students where to get help and how to report molestation and domestic violence.

By DONNETTE DUNBAR

Nov. 29, 1991 12 AM PT

TIMES STAFF WRITER

It was not the normal classroom fare for the third- and fourth-graders at Fries Avenue School in Wilmington--the subject was deadly serious, the statistics grim in the story they told about today’s world.

But for the 26 students, the frank discussion about domestic violence and child abuse, and what they can do about it, held their attention as few other topics have in recent months.

The dramatic presentation was part of a program conducted by ALIVE, a nonprofit organization devoted to educating youngsters in the South Bay and Long Beach, normally from the fourth through the ninth grades, about violence in the home.

ALIVE, which stands for Alternatives to Living in a Violent Environment, has made more than 90 classroom visits a year for the last three years, placed more than 8,000 anti-violence messages on book covers in the Wilmington area, and has given students about 15,000 resource cards that list hot line numbers for community services.

“We are not social workers or psychiatrists,” said Fidel Rivera, the organization’s community relations coordinator. “We relate with them on a different level. We let them know that when we leave here, we go back to work. We are simply people who care who want to say that it’s OK to get help.”

The organization is funded by local companies--Unocal, Ultramar and the Arco refineries, along with Union Pacific Resources--which contribute about $28,000 annually for the materials, according to the group’s president, Bill Cole.

Employees from the companies volunteer their time, and some go through six hours training on giving classroom presentations, Cole said.

“Having ordinary working people convey this (anti-violence) message to these boys and girls gives them hope and opportunity,” said Cole, who added that the organization has 45 volunteers.

“Did you know that 1 million children are abused every year?” presenter Charmaine Smith, a Unocal employee, asked the children as she read from a placard about domestic violence. “And that more than 2,000 children die from abuse?”

As the students thought over the figures, Mario Bautista, another Unocal employee, joined in with questions about the various types of abuse. The students quickly became involved in a spirited discussion.

Molestation, said one 8-year-old boy, is “when someone touches you where you don’t want to be touched.”

“That’s right,” Bautista replied. “That is a form of sexual abuse.”

During the class, students watched a 30-minute movie about a boy’s struggle with incest. Later, the children were given wallet-size cards with the hot line numbers.

Later they played a guessing game: match the hot line number with a particular problem.

“Let’s say you saw your dad hitting your mom, what number on the card would you dial?” asked Steve Williams, a 32-year-old Unocal employee.

“387-3158,” screamed one student, giving the number for Alanon and Alateen, a family support group from Wilmington.

“What number would you call if someone threatened to commit suicide?” Williams asked.

“381-5111,” came the answer, the number for a Suicide Prevention Hotline in Wilmington.

At the end of the presentation, students were asked to prepare questions for the second session, when they will see another movie--this time on physical abuse.

School principals and others, including Los Angeles City Councilwoman Joan Milke Flores, whose district includes the Wilmington area, applaud the program and its commitment.

George Walker, general manager for Unocal, called the ALIVE program an investment in the community.

“The pain and adversity in the lives of these children is clear,” Walker said. “At Unocal, we believe the ALIVE program is one way we can help them deal with these factors and grow up to be health and functional adults in a real way.”

Rivera said many students have come forward with personal experiences of sexual and physical abuse after they have heard the presentions. He cited the case of an 8-year-old girl who said her uncle gave her $5 every day to clean his room. At the end of the chore, Rivera said, the uncle would molest the child and threaten to tell her parents she was accepting money for sexual favors if she said anything to anyone.

After hearing ALIVE presenters, she told her principal. Rivera said the molestation stopped when the parents were informed, but he did not know if the uncle was prosecuted.

“We don’t always get feedback, but when we do, it makes our efforts worthwhile,” Rivera said. “What is important is that they hear the message.”

Ten-year-old Paul Melgoza heard the message and remembered it. He said he was going to put his resource card on the refrigerator so his parents would have access to the numbers.

“This way they can help people who are abused by calling one of these numbers,” Paul said, “in case I’m not home.”