Dad Food : When Father Knows Best . . . : Cooking: In some households, family meals are the handiwork of husbands who take no shortcuts.

Ronan O’Casey was having an exhilarating day--one he described as a “breakthrough.� After 10 weeks of trial and error, the 60-year-old actor and writer was finally producing the kind of hard, crusty dinner rolls he wanted. He felt he could at last move ahead with plans for two upcoming dinner parties knowing that everything on his dinner table would be made from scratch.

O’Casey has been the cook in his family for the last 15 years and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I would rather eat my own food than anyone else’s,� he maintains. And eat it he does. He cooks dinner every night, bakes bread and muffins on weekends and gives multicourse dinner parties for 8 to 10 on a regular basis. He also insists on doing the family shopping, since he adores the sight of freshly displayed produce and the kind of meals they inspire.

His wife, writer-psychologist Carol Tavris, couldn’t be happier with the job O’Casey is doing. She has not had “one second of ambivalence, remorse or regret about abandoning the role of family cook.� As she sees it, “the notion that it is the female’s role to cook has totally bypassed my brain. It is bliss not to have to think about shopping and cooking. When I am writing I don’t want to be distracted by thoughts of lamb chops.�

While the women’s movement has taken plenty of bad raps lately from harried career women who find themselves working the second shift at home after a full day on the job, it is not difficult to find couples who happily reverse the role of family feeder. They usually consist of a man who would rather not leave his dinner menu to chance and a woman who views eating as a way to refuel and cooking as a chore.

According to Bruce Henstell, author, television producer and prize-winning pickle-maker, he has “more than enough food obsessiveness� for himself and his wife Pam. Henstell realized a lifetime’s ambition in 1989 when he took first prize for his light dills at the Los Angeles County Fair. Since visiting the fair as a 10-year-old he had dreamed of winning a blue ribbon. Even as a child he thought, “What an incredible waste of time. I’ll try that.�

His wife Pam, a promotion manager for a book publisher, was not surprised. “Bruce has always had definite tastes and desires--and a predilection for things domestic,� said Pam, who sees “no ceremony� in cooking. “He is involved with every aspect of the home down to and including embroidering and crocheting the babies’ blankets.�

With two young children and a wife to feed, Bruce spends a large portion of his day planning, shopping and cooking the family meals. When we spoke he was rounding up ingredients for a Cajun-style barbecue to celebrate his son’s 4th birthday. Typical weeknight dinners at the Henstell home may feature barbecued turkey breasts, fresh pasta with pesto, homemade chicken soup with matzo balls or fried squid--all made from scratch.

Doesn’t Pam miss handling her family’s food? Not enough to do anything about it. Although she is attacked now and then by outdated images of cookie-baking motherhood, she quickly lets them pass. “It is in my best interest to let him excel at what he is best at.� Pam believes Bruce is a naturally good cook. Or as Bruce puts it: “She is no fool. She knows she is getting first-class food here.�

Psychotherapist Penny Biroc of Northridge also knows a good thing when she tastes it. According to Penny, her husband John, also a psychologist, is “an excellent cook--a 10.� As a traditional homemaker in her first marriage of 16 years, she cooked each night to please all of the members of her family, losing her enthusiasm and creativity along the way. In her next marriage she was “more than willing to give it up.� Looking back now at her days of daily cooking she doesn’t know how she did it. As she points out, “When a woman cooks it is expected. When a man cooks he gets a pat on the back. People tell him he is terrific.�

Colleen Bartram, a professional horsewoman, actress and model, knows that a man who cooks needs plenty of positive reinforcement. She makes it a point never to criticize her husband Brad’s efforts in the kitchen. So what if his pork chops are a little tough or his scampi a bit overspiced? Coming from a family of cattle ranchers, where “the women were chained and glued to the kitchen all day,� Colleen has no desire to compete in the culinary arena.

Not that Brad would ever let her. When she has offered to cook him dinner, he insists that she just wait for him to come home and man the stoves. Brad admits his new wife “is a little scary in the kitchen. She gets distracted easily. Smoke alarms tend to go off.�

That sits just fine with her. “Most of the time I feel so lucky that he does it. It is like having a private chef.�

Of course, to transform an old-model husband into a personal chef may take some reeducation. Beverly Hills real estate broker Helene Sherman is trying. She signed her husband, attorney Jerry Sherman, up for the professional cooking course at Epicurean cooking school at the age of 50. “Just so he could brush up on some basics,� says Sherman.

It seems to be working. During the holidays he made a terrific sweet-and-sour pastrami, but that is not all. He seems to be ignoring his Playboy magazines each month in favor of Bon Appetit. Sounds like it’s worth the price of tuition.

O’CASEY’S MICROWAVE BLACK BEAN SOUP

1 cup dried black beans, rinsed

2 cups water

2 cups very hot water

4 cups chicken broth

1 tablespoon oil

1 small zucchini, chopped

1 bay leaf

1 whole clove

1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 teaspoon light soy sauce

1 teaspoon hot pepper sauce

1 celery stalk with leaves, chopped

1/4 cup plain nonfat yogurt

1 medium bunch cilantro, chopped

Place black beans in 2 1/2-quart souffle dish. Add 2 cups water. Cover tightly with microwave plastic wrap. Cook 15 minutes on HIGH (100% power).

Remove from microwave. Pierce plastic wrap with tip of sharp knife. Let stand 5 minutes. Uncover and add 2 cups very hot water. Recover tightly and let stand 1 hour.

Drain and rinse beans. Return to souffle dish and add chicken broth, oil, zucchini, bay leaf, clove, pepper, soy sauce and hot pepper sauce. Mix well, cover tightly and microwave 35 minutes on HIGH.

Remove from microwave. Let stand, covered, 15 minutes. Stir in celery. Place in food processor fitted with steel blade and process until smooth. Adjust seasonings to taste. Serve hot, garnished with dollop of yogurt and chopped cilantro. Makes 4 to 6 servings.