On Days Such as This, It Takes a Brave Man to Be a Brave Fan

The Dodgers beat the Atlanta Braves again Saturday. It’s an easy job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Atlanta is burning. The Braves are red-faced. Fulton probably wants his name removed from the county stadium. Ted Turner must be thinking of preempting baseball on his TV network with more “Beverly Hillbillies” reruns. Henry Aaron, director of player development, must be about ready to drop the hammer on somebody, unless maybe somebody drops a hammer on Hank, for having developed these players.

The Braves are 0-10, and even mirthful Dale Murphy can’t take much more.

“This is embarrassing,” the bummed-out outfielder chants, like a mantra. “This is embarrassing.”

And, exasperating. Ozzie Virgil and Gerald Perry argue in the infield. Ted Simmons throws a chair in the clubhouse. Bruce Benedict compares the Braves to punch-drunk prizefighters. A crowd--cough--of 1,938 turns out for a home game. Takes a brave man to be a Brave fan.

Only Chuck Tanner, the good humor manager, manages to put on a happy face. “We’ll win tomorrow,” he promises, sounding like someone else from greater metropolitan Atlanta, Scarlett O’Hara. This is a baseball man who obviously washes his uniform with a box of Cheer. Chuck Tanner could find hope in a fire. He’d roast marshmallows.

“I’m not gonna rant and rave,” Tanner said after Saturday’s 7-4 loss at Dodger Stadium, which gave the Braves the worst start by any team in roughly a century of National League baseball. “I know I can manage. I’ve managed a lot of years. My goal is to manage as many years as Connie Mack did. I’m just getting started in my own career.”

Good luck, Chuck. You are 58 years old. Your managerial record is 109 games under .500 since opening day of 1984. Not one of your teams has won 85 games since 1979. You were the last National League manager to lose 100 games in a season--Pittsburgh, 1985--and you might be the next. If you last that long.

Hope you do, but beware and be wary. Cal Ripken Sr. already is a goner. Baltimore threw papa off the train before the season was two weeks old. The Orioles are winless after 10 games and are being called the O’s for more than one reason.

Who’s worse--Baltimore or Atlanta?

Maybe they should meet in midsummer, at the No-Star game.

How bad are our Braves?

This bad:

--Their team batting average is .192.

--They have 13 extra-base hits in 334 at-bats.

--They have scored 18 runs in their last nine games.

--Their staff earned-run average is 5.28.

--Damaso Garcia is 1 for his last 34, with seven balls hit out of the infield.

--Dale Murphy has two more hits this season than Damaso Garcia.

That’s how bad the Braves are. That’s the way things are going for the boys whose games are televised by TBS, your Terrible Baseball Station. That’s what’s happened so far to the ballclub whose 1988 advertising slogan is “One Crazy Summer.” TBS borrowed that from a Demi Moore movie. A better one might have been “About Last Night.”

A voluntary batting practice was arranged for Friday afternoon. Four position players showed up. Probably just as well. A batting practice pitcher could throw 100 balls to the Braves and finish with a six-hit shutout. If Jimmie Reese worked for Atlanta instead of the Angels, they’d stick a fungo bat in his hand and let him bat cleanup.

Later that same night, the Braves were on the field when their pitcher uncorked a wild pitch. Kirk Gibson of the Dodgers wheeled from first to third, whereupon Perry, the Atlanta first baseman, mentioned to Virgil, the Atlanta catcher, that Atlanta already had enough problems without runners taking two bases on wild pitches.

Virgil proceeded to mention to Perry that maybe be ought to worry about playing first base. They had words near the mound. Loud words. The Braves finally looked ready to break out of their hitting slump. Unfortunately, it was each other that they would have been hitting.

Came Saturday’s game, and more of the same. Untimely hitting. Slipped-clutch pitching. Cold Glove fielding. Bases left uncovered. Relays bobbled. This was an outfit that almost made the Dodger defense look good by comparison. (Almost.)

No wonder Simmons flung a chair the other day. No wonder Benedict said Saturday: “We’ve turned punch-drunk fighters, waiting for another shot.” The Braves only have 152 dates left to get a win.

Chuck Tanner, well, somehow he hangs in there. “This is the best we’ve hit the ball since opening day,” he said. “They didn’t feel for the ball, they swung at it. We really stung the ball today.”

The Braves had two earned runs, on 10 singles.

Yes, indeed.

This team stings.