‘Dexter’: Deb’s dating service
This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.
We watched with incredulity this season when ‘Dexter’s’ Debra Morgan paired up with Joey Quinn, a shady detective in the Miami Police Department who was not only skeezy but also had a vendetta against Dexter, Deb’s brother. It’s hard to decide which part of the relationship is worse: dating a co-worker (which has worked out poorly for Deb in the past) or once again dating someone who’s stalking Dexter. Quinn is just one more in a string of Deb’s bad-idea relationships. We like the foulmouthed, tomboyish Deb and think she deserves better, so we present to you an overview of her relationships gone awry and suggestions for boyfriends from other television programs who might be more suitable suitors:
Rudy Cooper / Ice Truck Killer / Brian Moser (Season 1)
Pros: Creepily handsome, is close to Deb’s adopted brother, Dexter, in that he is actually his brother.
Cons: Serial killer, wanted to murder Deb.
Try: Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch) from PBS’ “Sherlock.†He’s gaunt and creepy hot, like Rudy, yet he uses his sociopath brilliance for good, not evil.
Frank Lundy (Seasons 2 and 4)
Pros: Good detective, mature, ever bemused by Deb.
Cons: Workplace relationships are never a good idea, and the May-December thing smacks of Daddy issues. Plus, Frank was murdered by the Trinity Killer.
Try: Richard Wright (James Remar) from “Sex and the City.†Since Remar plays Deb’s deceased father on “Dexter,†Deb could then work out her Daddy issues (but since Richard Wright is not Harry Morgan, it’s not creepy, we promise). Plus, he’s rich!
Anton Briggs (Season 3)
Pros: Nice guy, musician.
Cons: Is it a great idea for a detective to have a romantic relationship with one of her confidential informants? Plus, he’s no Frank Lundy. Also, Anton narrowly escaped being a murder victim, which wasn’t really his fault, but maybe Deb should try being with someone boring and quiet for once.
Try: Gabe (Zach Woods) on “The Office.†Boring and quiet, but since he likes the show “Glee,†like Anton, he also appreciates music.
Joey Quinn (Season 5)
Pros: Knows what it’s like to be a cop, has a nice body.
Cons: Has an inexplicable vendetta against Deb’s brother, wants to rush the relationship, terrible sweaters.
Try: Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) from “Community.†Like Quinn, Jeff is arrogant and good looking but, unlike Quinn, does not work for the Miami Police Department and probably couldn’t care less about Dexter other than perhaps to make a sarcastic remark about his name.
Bonus suggestion: Katherine Moennig’s tattoo-artist character on “Dexter.â€
Pros: Good looking, seems into Deb, they have Vince Masuka as a friend in common.
Cons: Deb has thus far expressed no interest in being with a women. But there’s always next season...
Do you have other ideas for who could be a good match for Deb? Leave them in the comments!
-- Claire Zulkey