‘Dancing With the Stars’ results recap: A no-win Situation

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At least he got to show off his stellar abs. But alas, ‘Jersey Shore’ mainstay Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino flipped partner Karina Smirnoff like a sack of potatoes and ultimately flipped himself right out of the ‘Dancing With the Stars’ competition.

Deep six-pack was deep-sixed. Of course, if you asked ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’s’ Carson Kressley, Kurt Warner should be off like a prom dress. But after being in jeopardy until the very end, the NFL player and his frying-pan hands touched down in the safe zone to dance another week. So did fellow bottom-dweller Bristol the Pistol.

Was this final Situation surprising? Hardly. Though what wasn’t expected was seeing the Situation storm off and saying he’s ‘done with it’ after the judges’ harsher-than-harsh comments Monday night. Although he blew it off for the cameras during the performance show, his backstage demeanor showed that the criticism apparently burned a lot more than a horrible suntan. ‘Now they’re hating,’ the Sitch declared. ‘The judges were so unpositive and didn’t even see the work I put in.’ Sad to see him so put out. And Tom said he’d never seen Karina speechless.

Still, the Sitch had a good run. And it’s not every day that you can see someone flex his pecs with such alacrity. It’s too bad that Jersey Mike didn’t end up picking up more of the dance, because he did seem to earnestly want to do well in this competition. And judging from his reception in the celebraquarium week in and week out, it seemed like the reality TV star was also quite well liked amongst his fellow competitors. We saw the whole Situation during these four weeks of competition, and it turns out that he’s not such a bad guy. So let’s pump a fist, do an honorary MC Hammer dance and give it up for him and his rocking six-pack, shall we?

The encore performance went to the best dance of the season so far: Jennifer Grey’s and Derek Hough’s sultry tango. It may have helped that ‘Jenougher’ were slight and light enough to move freely on that circle in the round stage without much fear of falling off, but man, did they deliver a great tango. Tom called it ‘even better than last night, if it’s that possible.’

The Goo Goo Dolls came out to perform a medley, though the way they were positioned on the side of center stage made it seem like they were the house band next to the roller-skating rink, performing while Dmitry Chaplin and Chelsie Hightower skated hand in hand to ‘Iris,’ and fellow ‘SYTYCD’ alum Jason Glover and Chantel Aguirre danced to the band’s new single, ‘Not Broken.’

As if we couldn’t get enough of the seedy Buenos Aires brothels, the dancers from ‘Forever Tango’ came on to perform as part of the Macy’s Stars of Dance, bathed in red lights and slinkily getting all up in each others’ business.

And where does one go after a breakout performance at the MTV Video Music Awards? To ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ of course! At least, that’s what alt-rocker Florence + the Machine did. In keeping with the week’s acoustic theme, Florence stripped down her rendition of ‘Dog Days Are Over’ to just a harp and an acoustic guitar and was enveloped in a plume of smoke and some heavenly back-lighting. The woman who made such a to-do at the VMAs had the same energy and oomph in this version, surrounded by contemporary dancers on their own platforms who eventually made their way onto the big stage. Hopefully she picked some more new fans along the way, because this woman was pretty terrific.

There was a segment on what it was like to be a ‘DWTS’ contestant, all told from the first-person point of view of a star with a pink alarm clock. More entertaining, however, was Abmaster Len Goodman’s ‘How to Get a 10 from Len.’ Who knew you got a point just for showing up? Add on points for moving both feet, four points for just getting through the routine (like Billy Ray Cyrus), five ‘if you show a little bit of musicality’ (cue the Hoff gyrating with his mouth agape). A six paddle is average, and where he starts to see some potential (Pammy Anderson, he’s looking at you!). A se-VEN is for chemistry between couples. An eight is given when there’s ‘no messing about.’ Nine is when you’re really cooking, and a 10 is only when ‘it’s magical.’

Sadly, it was the Situation’s just getting through the tango the previous night that earned him that dismal four, leaving him the fourth star to exit the ballroom this season. And he kept his graciousness at the end, saying he put it all on the floor the previous night, and shrugging that he tried his best.

What do you think, ballroom fans? Did the right person go home this week? Was the Situation right to be angry at the judges’ comments? Is there anyone else in that competition who can isolate his pecs like he can? Which TV theme songs are you hoping to hear next week? (I have my fingers crossed for ‘Growing Pains.’) Will the world implode on itself if Florence Henderson doesn’t dance to ‘The Brady Bunch’?

-- Allyssa Lee

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