PREACH IT! Claudia Schiffer poses naked and pregnant, Earth continues to rotate on axis

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Celebrity survival rule No. 86: No more posing naked and pregnant on a magazine cover. This week the cover of the new issue of German Vogue emerged on the Interwebs. Claudia Schiffer is there, naked and about to pop any second now.

‘There are probably not many other women who have been photographed as often as Claudia. But she has never been seen in such a different way,’ said the magazine’s editor, Christiane Arp.

Yes. Danke, Claudia. It’s very pretty. It also looks a little too not different to belong on the cover of a high fashion magazine -- even safe nowadays. In fact Schiffer’s pose is almost precisely the same one we saw from Britney Spears, when she sat preggers and in the buff for Harpers, and Monica Bellucci, when she covered Vanity Fair, and Cindy Crawford, when she got knocked up and posed for W.

Yes, Demi Moore posed naked and pregnant once, and it was considered very daring and fresh. The world just went all kinds of crazy. But that was in 1991. “The Simpsons� was considered dysfunctional and disturbing. People spoke in hushed whispers about that new “e-mail.� And that baby that you saw in Moore’s naked belly is now 18.

Now, if Schiffer had posed naked inside one of those controversial airport X-ray machines? That would be a different story.

-- Leslie Gornstein