Afraid to make the first move? These 13 L.A. stories will inspire you to do it anyway
We were all there for Lizzo “shooting her shot†when she slid into Captain America’s DMs. Chris Evans and the “Juice†hitmaker continue to generate headlines with flirty and friendly back-and-forths, making it all look so easy to just put yourself out there.
So why are the rest of us so afraid to make the first move when we see someone who catches our eye at a crowded bar, in line at Starbucks or at karaoke? The missed connection — that fleeting moment with a stranger that leaves you wishing you’d worked up the nerve to strike up a conversation — makes for great rom-com material. But IRL? Not so much.
Especially because “people are definitely sick and tired of dating apps,†said Alex Lee, a full-time copywriter, part-time web-designer hobbyist and hopeless romantic. Lee founded the online personals site missedyoula.com in May to fill what he saw as an opportunity to give people a space to submit missed connections truly based in romance.
We’re giving Lee and his followers an assist. Here are 13 stories we hope will inspire you to channel your inner Lizzo and go for it the next time you see a stranger and feel that delicious spark.
Look at it this way: What’s the worst that can happen? Your feelings might get bruised if someone turns you down? C’mon. You’ve already lived through a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic! You’re tougher than that. Shoot.
- 1
A captivating stranger, a public place, a moment of connection. And then, nothing. A missed connection. We’ve all been there. And here’s what you can do about it.
- 2
We don’t have routines or a citywide hive mind. So in L.A., you rarely get a redo. Instead, you get regrets for not making a move when you see someone you like. Here’s a look at three missed connections in L.A., from karaoke to a hotel pool.
- 3
My mother always told me that Nice Girls should never make the first call after exchanging phone numbers with a guy. If I’d listened to her prim, 1950s-bred advice, I would’ve missed the right man for me.
- 4
I remember her every year at this time — and when I see the Missed Connections on Craigslist, where strangers who were too shy to connect when they first crossed paths hope to unite.
- 5
I was the classic “looking for love in all the wrong places†type. Was he 35 and still living with his mom? No problem! A 42-year-old failing musician who can’t commit? Yes, please! Neo-Nazi bartender? Let’s give it a shot! I swear I would see potential in the biggest losers you could imagine.
- 6
I’m a woman who wants to be cherished and cared for. I am also a woman who wants and needs to be rubbed up on. And here I was feeling as if I was getting used for my mind, and my body was being completely ignored. So I asked the one question I’d been afraid to ask for months.
- 7
Looking through two-dimensional images of men on my phone felt more like a game to pass time than a thoughtful process of choosing a potential romantic partner. I decided I was done with all apps and websites advertising shortcuts for meeting your one and only.
- 8
For weeks I told myself she was busy and just forgot to check her app. Bright hope faded to black rejection as I kvetched to friends about the great girl who slipped through my fingers. And then I spotted her in a crowded bar.
- 9
Connections made in the outdoors can be powerful and long-lasting — and sometimes they work out.
- 10
Asking was my way of being flirtatious but asking was also the right thing to do, right? I’m not a caveman, after all. But it was the beginning of the end of a date I wish I could erase from my memory.
- 11
Becoming a single mom by choice seemed insane: I was a public schoolteacher, not a lawyer. I didn’t even have paid maternity leave. How could I afford daycare, diapers and doctor’s appointments?
- 12
As I enter the original, in-person L.A. dating scene once again, I’m not going to just wait for my Saturday nights out on the town or dating apps. If I see a guy who looks cute or interesting, I’m going all in.
- 13
Not a day goes by that I do not miss him or think about whether we might still someday have our chance. Why did I chose swimming instead of after-hours drinks?
