Golden Globes facial hair: The good, the Wurst and the scraggly

The women of the Golden Globes may have had their statement earrings last night, but on the guy’s side the must-have accessory seemed to be the statement beard.

In these situations it’s always hard to know exactly whose facial fuzz is job-related and whose is between-gig laissez-faire, but one thing was certain: You could hardly throw a mustache comb at the Beverly Hilton Sunday night without hitting a follicularly endowed fellow.

Those taking tonsorial top honors for their face furniture include Jamie Dornan (“Fifty Shades of Grey�) and Bryan Cranston (“Breaking Bad�), whose neatly trimmed beards served as the perfect examples of how whiskers can work with formal attire.

Then there was Conchita Wurst, who took the statement beard in a whole different direction. The Austrian singer and drag queen (also known by the non-drag name of Thomas Neuwirth) hit the red carpet in a green velvet Alexis Mabille gown with a plunging neckline, nude bustier inset -- and a dark, well-manicured beard barely past the 5 o’clock shadow stage.

Jack Black’s graying beard was a study in salt and pepper -- the salt coloration predominant out toward the sideburns with a mustache heavy on the pepper -- a look shared by Dean DeBois, the bearded director who took home a Golden Globe for the animated film “How to Train Your Dragon 2.�

We’re seriously hoping (nay, praying) that Matthew McConaughey’s unkempt face full of tumbleweed is for an upcoming role. He showed up to the Globes with a beard so scraggly and uneven it looked as if it had been shaped with the sharpened edge of a rusty bottlecap -- that he might well be hiding deep within the beard itself.

And although Colin Farrell’s ‘70s-era porn ‘stache doesn’t technically qualify as a beard, it’s worth pointing out as a cautionary tale of facial hair gone wrong -- the night’s most memorable “mustNOTstache.�

For more pursuit of the hirsute -- and all kinds of other fashion and style news, follow me @ARTschorn