'SNL' takes shots at Lance Armstrong

‘SNL’ takes shots at Lance Armstrong

July 2010 photo of Lance Armstrong during last stage of the Tour de France cycling race in Paris, France.

By Claire Zulkey

Jan. 20, 2013 12 AM PT

“Saturday Night Live” stuck it to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong like so many injections of performance-enhancing drugs.

First, the cold opener featured Jason Sudeikis as Armstrong as a guest of Piers Morgan (played by Taran Killam), who introduced the cyclist as “The most despicable, vile human being ever to set foot on planet Earth, and I’m so happy to have him.” When Morgan mentioned Armstrong’s accusers, the self-confessed bully said, “Who said that? They’re liars! Those fat b----s!” Armstrong then blamed his outburst “70/30” on Morgan for provoking him and then used his bout with cancer as an excuse for replacing “all of my blood with better blood. Am I sorry I did it? Yes-ish. PS: No.” The opener also sent up a very confused Manti T’eo and featured an otherwise absent-from-the-episode Kate McKinnon as Jodie Foster, fresh off her confusing speech at the Golden Globes as she thanked the voices of reason in her life, Robert Downey Jr. and Mel Gibson.

Weekend Update also took its jabs (like a hypodermic needle, get it?) at Armstrong as Seth Meyers joked that with all the drugs, for his last two race victories, the cyclist “didn’t even need a bike.” Bobby Moynihan’s Anthony Crispino also appeared to deliver his secondhand news, saying Armstrong “finally admitted he’s a dwarf. He’s dopey. He confessed it this week at the opera.”

Let it not be forgotten, of course, that the frequent butt of Saturday night’s jokes was once an “SNL” host himself. While some considered Armstrong’s 2005 turn “painfully unfunny,” it seemed like it had its moments.

Next week “SNL” returns with Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine testing his comedy chops with Kendrick Lamar as musical guest.

ALSO:

Manti Te’o says he was duped by hoax: ‘I wasn’t faking it’

Live updates: Lance Armstrong says he wishes he hadn’t fought USADA

‘SNL’ pays quiet tribute to those lost at Sandy Hook Elementary

twitter.com/Zulkey