Get down like Han Solo in Kinect Star Wars

By Michelle Maltais

April 3, 2012 12 AM PT

For some, it’s a tossup between the Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks for who is more of a disturbance in the Force. Oh, wait. Another galactic controversy might soon make its way to a screen near you: It’s called Kinect Star Wars.

The new $50 controller-free game hits the market today, but posts, clips and comments have been making the rounds online.

What’s the big deal? Well, apparently the game has Yoda, padawan training, lightsaber combat, pod racing, a Rancor monster, Force moves, Leia, speeder bikes and a dance battle between Han Solo and Lando Calrissian. A collection of features so random, it sounds like it’s a nightclub description from “Saturday Night Live’s” city correspondent, “Stefon.”

Basically, the game offers different gaming modes, like mini-games. And in the “Galactic Dance Off,” essentially, Captain Han Solo transforms into Captain EO in a dance battle with Lando while surrounded by floor-stomping Storm Troopers. But really, who else would be able to pull off moves like “Chewie Hug,” “Trash Compactor” and “The Speeder?” (And no, this isn’t an April Fool’s joke.)

A sampling of the lyrics of “I’m Han Solo,” set to the song “Ridin’ Solo”:

I’m solo, I’m Han Solo,
I’m Han Solo.
I’m Han Solo. Solo.

I’m picking up my blaster,
put it on my side.
I’m jumpin’ in my Falcon
Wookie at my side.

You can find all the lyrics at Kottke.org, if you’re dying of curiosity.

In the words one YouTube commenter, “I just felt the death of Star Wars. It was as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.” Awesome.

But some of us just can’t help enjoying the utter absurdity. The folks at Kotaku have described the dance modes as being “at once the most excruciating and enjoyable things about the game.”

I know after hearing the song in the video clip above for just 10 seconds, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Indeed, glorious and excruciating. You really can’t help laughing just a little bit.

If you’re a hard-core fan, you’re probably shaking your head right about now -- or saying in your best Darth Vader groan: No!

We know. Here is some palate-cleansing material to help: